Wednesday, February 2, 2011

More Things

It's technically February 2nd, so I'm going to do list for the day now before I go to bed, as Wednesdays are usually more than a little insane around here. That's really just an excuse though...I've been writing an essay and am wired in a thinking/writing mode. With that, I'm going to kick this off with number 1.

I love perspective. When I saw this picture I realized how drastically I jump around on both ends of the spectrum; it is a rare occurrence in which I toss in the perfect intelligent comment into a conversation. Interestingly enough, the older I get the more I am going from being the teenager without a filter, notorious for saying too much too often, to being an adult who feels too quiet instead. Maybe it's the writer quirk in me, I have yet to really establish what caused the change. At any rate, my words and thoughts feel trapped, stuck. It literally takes a pen or a keyboard to get myself out of my own head. Even describing this fact takes my blog! This quote reminded me that my own silence can be just as devastating, to myself and those around me, as my word-vomit used to be.

I love cookies, specifically home-ade and then tossed in the freezer for a couple hours. Yeah, I went there. And bunnies are awesome too which is why this picture is now officially one of my favorite things.

I love testing my limits; challenging my own capabilities. I don't do it often enough though, and this picture of a kayaking trip at English Bay reminded me how much I adore fresh experiences. There's nothing quite like that feeling of fear before going into a new situation. It's nearly paralyzing at times. I remember climbing into the kayak, wondering if it'd be in the evening news how some girl forgot how to Eskimo roll and then drowned tragically in her flipped kayak. But then the ocean was moving beneath me, and suddenly the clouds were racing by overhead. The paddle cut through the waves in this fluid rhythm and I laughed and then was silent in awe of how powerful and vulnerable I was simultaneously. Moments where both of those realizations are working in harmony are beautiful...I'd say a little fear is worth that.

Now, let me explain that there is nothing that I love more than a clean kitchen. I realize the picture below is not necessarily the most sanitary or beautiful kitchen, per se, but what I love here is a moment frozen in time. I love museums and pictures where it looks like a normal family had a normal day, and then just didn't come home. Left all the little details, imperfections and reality, scattered wherever they had left them. I wonder when I leave my house sometimes what would happen if I got murdered, or if I stepped off my bus and a car hit me, or if there was a shooting at the bus loop. What would people think of me, of who I was or wanted to be, if they walked into my bedroom? I wonder if there would be a large disconnect to them between my dreams and how my day to day life is? Would they notice it as much as I do sometimes? They'd see a bit of mess, a few lists and journals that are so honest I consider burning them sometimes. Pictures like these make me smile because it catches those little things that usually get cleaned up before people are invited in...the important things like handprints on the cupboards and little alphabet letters on the fridge.

I love to hike...mountains, trees, sweat and granola bars are all happy things in my book. The view doesn't hurt either!

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